The Bat Mitzvah celebrates the transition from childhood to womanhood. It marks a treble convenance; At one level, Anna makes a convenient with God/the law:/society, depending as to whether you are a theist: she has to abide by all religious obligations; At another level, she marks a pact with her family: she has the right to make decisions, and she is accountable for them; At a third level, it marks a convenient between generations, as she accepts her identity as a Jew and she decides to pass it over.
She was assertive ever since she was born, and it is not possible for her to become anymore assertive as a result of the Ceremony. It is my day, I want to decide everything, my dress, your dress, the menu, the invite list, the pictures in the booklet, Giorgia's hair, the side Saul should walk on in the road; how is this different, Anna, relative to any other day? She had two ceremonies, we celebrated one in Venice. The booklet of the ceremony carried at the back some pictures in memoriam, they clarify what is the significant of celebrating the ceremony in Venice. One picture depicts the re-opening of the Schola Spagnola in Venice after the liberation of the City, carried out by a British officer, who was also a Rabbi; most of the Community was not in Venice at the time- and yet it reminds us that even the right to celebrate a ceremony in Synagogue us ephemeral; another picture shows the marriage of my paternal grandparents, my grandfather fled Venice during the War, my grandmother, who was a Catholic, hid him, waited for him, respected his religious identity after the war and helped him pass it through the generations; another picture shows my maternal grandparents, who fled Egypt in 1956, left anything they owned behind (as a result my grandfather loved owning gold, an asset class I never understood, and never wanted to own a house); finally, a picture, shot in the Lido of Venice, shows my grandfather, a swimming champion, enjoying, like in the Garden of Finzi Contini, some relaxation before he was to discover what awaited him. We had guests from Venice, Rome, Milan, New York, London. The day before the ceremony we had a lunch in Venice. Venice's cuisine is naturally fusion, as it had always been a bridge between East and West. So it is not surprising that the new wave of highly rated restaurants in town all merge Venetian cuisine with Asian elements. We had a Shabbat dinner with our family and a few friends who came from New York. On Saturday the bat mitzvah started. We were on time and left the house bang on at 8am. Saul did not like the way I knotted his handkerchief, and discovered his own way; Giorgia did it her way, and Anna changed decided to wear a different pair of shoes. And yet, we made it. We walked towards the Ghetto, observing the beauty of Venice before the heat. We saw our friends in front of the synagogue. They were also almost all on time. The ceremony took place after the service. Saul was convinced that one of the attendees to the service in the synagogue looked like Putin. It was a jew from Montreal who was celebrating his tenth wedding anniversary, and went up to the aron area. He was still suspicious. Jonathan took Anna aside for a final rehearsal during the teffilim, similar to the warm up of an athlete. Anna read the shemat, eshat chail and the Alenu. She delivered a speech on the meaning of the Eshat Chail, a psalm to women written by King Salomon, that likens a woman to a pearl. She spoke both in Italian and in English. Rav Sermoneta delivered a blessing, and I could heat that under the talet Anna was deeply moved. We had a kiddish in the Garden of Sala Montefiore, where I had my own kiddish after my bat mitzvah and my wedding. There is a sense of immortality in repetition. I could not be prouder of Anna. She spoke confidently, in three languages, and she showed me again her will of iron and that, deep down, she is a performer. I learnt something myself from her speech. I was wondering whether Judaism is innately gynophobic- women cannot sing in synagogue, but men can- or simply it differentiates roles to enhance identity. I thought about it during the walk back. We then headed over to Remiera Querini, with a few guests- after a frantic rush to a shop for last minute shopping, for a boat ride on a Carolina around the Arsenale. I told Anna to bring a spare pair of clothes, but she did not listen to me. In the meanwhile, I passed by the fruit and vegetables shop, and they confirmed that my delivery had gone through in the morning. We then had friends over in the campo for a Redentore dinner. We had to ask the police for permission to put out two tables for Redentore. I discovered that the barriers to prevent too many entries to the fireworks area (one of which was positioned in front of my house) only created more crowding, and nobody checked. I brought some water to the staff manning the barrier near our table, and they repositioned not to bother us. We had a typical Venetian Redentore dinner, cold dishes, pasta with vegetables. We danced to Kletzmer music. Anna did not trust me to take her up the chair, and I looked for help. The fireworks lit up at 11.30. They reflected themselves on the water. Giorgia and I sat down on the floor, the way I used to when I was a child. My lifelong friend Giovanni remembered the way we used to watch fireworks for the Redentore when we were child, and Anna said that Giorgia and I, sitting on the floor, looked like two beggars. We went back to the square, and did the most Venetian of things: worried about where we would put all of the rubbish in a legal way. As usual, our friend Silvano, owner of the restaurant, helped us. We woke up early in the morning to make it to the beach at 10am. We were alone. We had rented some cabins near the place where my grandparents had met. Gradually, our friends joined us. The water was warm, muddy and warm as it has always been in the Lido. The cabins make you feel as it Thomas Mann had written Death in Venice yesterday. The Lido has a timeless elegance. Next to our cabin a friend of my family, who spends the all summer in the Lido, come to our rescue and gave us the material to clean the tables. We marked two tables and had lunch at the beach as in the Venetian tradition. The children swam forever, we had a lifeguard in the group, who at first looked very excited to relive his youth, and then realised that the sea at the Lido is very shallow and it makes lifeguards redundant. We went home, frantically packed with Georgiana's help. We head over to the airport, cutting it very tight, and we would have missed our plane if we had not talked to the security guards. A tourist scolded me for using the EU queue at passport control, and insulted me, and I asked the border police, who was there to check our passports, to talk to him, explain that I followed the procedure and ask him to repeat what he had told him. The minute the border police talked to him he became very humble and extremely apologetic, although the police told him exactly the same as I did. I told my children that they are now responsible for her own choices, and that the message of Judaism is that one must study, work, educate oneself and others. They asked me whether for once I would allow them to drink a fizzy drink.
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AuthorMassimo Gesua' sive Salvadori Archives
July 2022
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